Dear Zafran,

I can't sleep right now, hence why I'm doing this. This blog has been abandoned for so long now I figured i should update it. So here's an update, dedicated to you. Hehe just trying a new way of giving you virtual letters :p Pardon my corny ass. Hehe. Sayang I know being with me isn't easy. But thank you a lot for still staying. I feel bad when you apologise every time you feel like you arent being helpful whenever I'm down. But honey please remember this, you are helpful enough just by being there for me. Altho yeah, still disappearing often but I know you're there. I know you'd always be there. Always with me. I admit i'm a sad bih most of the times but I need you to know that you're never the reason behind it. If anything, you'd be the reason I feel better again. My happy pill, indeed. You and your cats just make my gloomy days better. 

Again, where'd you been my whole life? It's okay, I'm glad I met you at the right time. Well.... not really. Since- you know, "that" dude was in our way. I'm still glad you didnt give up or leave. I know you'd still stay even as a friend but thank you, for giving me the crazy idea of yknow, "we can try dating and see how things go" haha haih this is the first time that I dont regret taking things way too fast. In fact I'm glad. Although I have to be honest, I still have my doubts and still paranoid, and still is afraid if the burnout comes early. Lets hope not. Because so far, all I know is I'm happy, too happy thanks to you, love. I chose you, and I'll keep choosing you over and over again, without a doubt and in a heartbeat, it's always gonna be you. You're that stranger, that came into my life and end up being the person I never wanna lose. You mean so much to me, boo. So much. 

I hope you're feeling the same way. I hope I'm giving you as much happiness as you're giving me. I know I cant be the perfect girlfriend but I really am doing my best. I know I can't promise to fix all of your problems, but i can promise you won't have to face them alone. I hope I can be the reason you look forward to the next day. I hope you're in love with me as much as I'm in love with you. Wait why am i crying now haha ugh what a crybaby. I hope we never fall out of love. Lets work it out so it never comes to that, okay? Gosh, I've never been so scared to lose anyone in my entire life, but then again, no one really meant to me as much as you do. I guess I actually had fallen for you before I even realised it. 

Truth be told, I was never really a 'loyal' person. Not proud of it. Texted multiple guys. You know, before I met you I was on tinder, and yeah, ds, even if I was tryna work things out with any guy, I'd still be texting other guys, but with you, I didnt do that. It was only him, my so-called crush, and you. And when I ended things with the dude, it was only you. I totally lost any bit of interest I might had left for any dude. I stopped talking to most dudes on Twitter. I think i'm only close with Franky now and you know why. Idk, a part of me did change after I met you, and it's a good change I must say. I hope if I'm gonna keep changing, it's gonna be a change for the better. Haih you brought out the best version of me. 

I really got carried away this time. Haha I'm sorry, babe. It's your luck la for getting a very expressive girlfriend. Hehe. Please don't get sick of my letters. There'll always be more coming. And for this one, I think I should stop now. Haha. I love you, sayang. So much that words can never describe it. Thank you, for being mine. Thank you for choosing me when there are loads of prettier girls with better personalities. Keep loving me, boo. Because that's what I plan to do with you. I won't leave you, unless if you want me to. Till next time! xx

Love,

Ameera 💗